YOU LOVE ME – PART I

Hebrews 12:4–13 carries a hard but beautiful truth: God disciplines His children.

For me, this passage came alive at a breaking point, the moment I knew something had to change. The chaos inside me, the cycle I was stuck in, the pain I was causing myself and others… it couldn’t keep going. I needed to stop. I needed to surrender. I didn’t need the kind of discipline the world offers: punishment without healing, correction without compassion. I needed God’s discipline.

The kind of discipline that verse 13 points to:

“Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.” (NLT)

God’s discipline isn’t about breaking us down to leave us broken. It’s about restoring our steps so we can walk in healing.

Here’s the truth I had to face: I often said, “God is in control of my life. He’s directing my path.” And I meant it. But deep down, I was still trying to manipulate the process. I wanted to say I trusted Him while secretly holding onto the wheel. I put on a brave face, pretending I was okay, all while resisting full surrender.

I know part of my actions were shaped by a broken childhood, blurred lines between right and wrong, and examples that distorted what healthy looked like. But even then, that reality could never justify my flaws or excuse the hurt they caused. God wasn’t looking for excuses; He was inviting me into healing. Living a fully surrendered life, one that truly relies on Him, requires something simple, but not easy: obedience and humility. Not as a performance, not to earn His favor, but as a response to His love.

There’s a kind of prayer you only pray when the weight is too much to carry, when the tears are wrenching, and the pain is sharp because you see how your mess has hurt the people you love. That was me. And in that moment, I whispered through the ache:

“God… You’re allowing this because You love me. You want to heal me. You want me truly free.”

That realization, as hard as it was, became the most difficult and the most freeing truth I’ve ever accepted about His love. God’s love doesn’t coddle us, but it also doesn’t condemn us. His discipline isn’t proof of rejection, it’s proof of belonging.

Hebrews 12:6 says, “For the Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes each one He accepts as His child.”

When we stop resisting, when we allow Him to do the deep work, discipline becomes the pathway to freedom. And freedom isn’t just about being “better”, it’s about being healed, whole, and able to walk on level ground.

So if you’re in a season where God’s discipline feels heavy, I want to encourage you: it’s not because He’s mad at you. It’s because He loves you enough not to leave you as you are.

And that, friend, is a love worth surrendering to. 

This is all for this post… I will share more next time, with part 2.

Stay tuned in.